Week 19

Happy Valentine's Day!! P-day always comes so fast! The days and weeks go by really fast. I can't believe that I'll soon have 1 year left on my mission! That's no time at all!! I really want to just soak in and learn all that I can during this experience. It's cool to see myself change and grow into a person Heavenly Father wants me to be. Sometimes we don't always know who we are. These past months have forced me to find myself. Which is kind of hard and scary. But cool.

We had a Zone P-day and went hiking, which was so fun. It was SO HOT and hard. But beautiful!

This week has been really hard for me. Actually, this area has been really hard for me... I feel like Heavenly Father wants me to be a 'seed planter' instead of a 'harvester' in San Jose. That's really what we have been trying to do is plant the seeds. It's not an easy task to do, I've found. But I just have to work my hardest everyday and give everything to the Lord. Pres. Peterson gave us a talk about becoming a consecrated missionary. It really helped me to understand that there is so much frivolous stuff we need to give up to become consecrated missionaries. If we want a celestial mission we have to be celestial beings. I miss our family, but I want to learn and grow and change through this mission and become the real me. :)

I used to not believe Heavenly Father answered prayers. But I know He does. I was 'practice teaching' with my companion the other day and we were going thru the first lesson (about the restoration). I was teaching her about prayer and I just said, "I know Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers and that he understands us. He hears and answers us." And I just felt the tears flow and the Spirit just touched my heart and I knew that that was true. We can't see God. But we can feel Him if we have the Spirit in our lives. We need the Spirit so much in this mission and in our lives. It's really hard to become a consecrated missionary but I know that even though we haven't had any baptisms yet or any real success I know I was sent here for other reasons. I'm glad I got to be a trainer even though it was the hardest thing for me, I grew so much and learned about how I can be better. I have a long way to go. But I'm at least on the path...and whenever I feel myself getting down or comparing myself, I just try to think of how I can just improve myself first.

xoxo,

Sister Seastrand